Get used to this game, the waiting one. The results of my biopsy aren’t back yet, and won’t be until Monday or Tuesday, so I have nothing to report to you all. It looks like I won’t be starting chemo next week either with everything getting stretched out scheduling-wise, so if you do know how to make test results suddenly appear, start working your magic.
In the meantime, I’ve been thinking back a bit, trying to remember if there were times when I might have noticed anything was amiss, like this reduced lung capacity I have. Obviously two weeks ago when I was hiking in the Smoky Mountains I noticed I was stopping to catch my breath more than my friends, but even then, my first thought was naturally, “I’m more out of shape than I thought” not, “I bet I have cancer.”
Moving further back, throughout the winter, I kept a pretty consistent workout schedule, but always with an eye more towards accumulating base miles and never towards speed. I probably averaged three days a week on my bike inside, and one day a week running outside. I can’t say that I ever felt extraordinarily sluggish, but it’s hard to judge pace and effort on a stationary bike while watching TV or running outside through the snow without a watch. Therefore, without pushing my limits in a race or training, I guess I never really used up all the air in my lungs.
However, back in October and November, I did a few cyclocross races, and, well, I really kind of sucked. Like, 3rd-from-dead-last kind of sucked, and against people who I could easily beat in triathlons earlier in the summer. Again, I chalked it up to factors like “I’m not good at technical bike courses” and “I’m riding a heavy bike that’s too small for me” and “Sprinting never was my specialty”, but now that I think back, I was sucking wind pretty hard during those races, and I definitely pushed myself to the limit – there was just no top gear to shift into while racing.
I’m hesitant to go back much farther, because I can only think of a couple really tough races where I was so out of breath I had to walk, but those were trail races over sand dunes and everyone was walking.
It’s just still pretty creepy to think that I have a softball growing in my chest.